186.0 8:30am

I've been losing weight for over five weeks now. I was going to planet fitness every day before i checked in at San Antonio for 109 days. I've been here 15 days now. my weight has been going down steadily, which has been really exciting. covid put a good thirty pounds on me and i am so ready to take it all back off. i am hopeful that i can be back down to 159 before april 2nd when i leave. that is 13.5 weeks from now, so i think i should even be able to get to 158 even. that would be a new Lowe, so it's possible i might struggle to get that low. my body is surely going to fight me along the way. I'm eager to look like my best self. I'm already looking so much better than seventeen pounds ago.

188.8 Noon

I've been as high as 192 or 193 and as low as 171 since posting last. I am at the top of my range right now. I've been home from work since the end of February and have gained about 20 pounds in that time (so a little over three months). I feel heavy. I don't feel cute right now. A lot of my clothes are too tight to wear. I don't feel really guilty per se... just tired of struggling with this so much. I fasted 36 hours before noon today. I just have been having so much trouble with eating carbs and junk. Same as always. I don't know what the long term solution is. I've been thinking lately that playing online too much while I'm home is part of the problem though. Not being productive. Not having goals that I am working towards. I tend to let myself do what I want to much (seeking pleasure instead of long term happiness).

I'm still working on it after all these years. I really hoped at some point I would find out what the long term solution is.

175.0 6am

I've been dieting moderately hard for the last two weeks. I came home from a two week work trip at about 175 and two weeks ago i saw as high as 186 on the scale. Then for the last two weeks (I'm working out of town again) I've been able to get my eating back under control and today am back down too 175.0. I have really noticed that my face/neck/jawline looks a lot better when I am sub 173.0. I'll be out of town for the next ten days and am planning to go up to Oregon after to see my parents. One had shingles four the last 12-13 days and have been taking painkiller round the clock and a anti viral for a well as well. I'm ready to be better!

170.0 6:30am

I got as high as 184 about 3 weeks ago, but have been very strict with eating and walking for the last 2+ weeks. I will be happy to hopefully get back into the 160's tomorrow. Something really interesting was I really saw a change coming back down the scale in how my face looked once I hit about sub 175.

177.4 lbs 7:45 am

I gained over the last 5 months 17 pounds. That is tough, but I have been working on it. If I know anything after all this time, it is that it is a daily struggle and it will continue to always be a daily struggle. And that is OKAY. I keep trying and at times I lose track of myself, but as long as I continue to weigh in every day... I 100% believe I will never let it get out of control again. I am working at getting back under 175 and then I will be working at getting back under 170. It's doable, but it's slow going. I am up in Nebraska now working and having mandatory carby breakfasts every day. That's ok. I am disappointed, but tomorrow is another opportunity to lose even a small amount. I look great now, but I looked even better at 160-165. I got a TON of compliments at that weight. So I keep on trying.

166.2 lbs 9am

I was 164.8 lbs yesterday when I weighed in at noon. I have really struggled this last week. I'm not sure why. Just having junk all the time. I look amazing though, so it's somewhat difficult to get to worked up about being over 165 today. I want to remain under 165 lbs and I really would like to get under 155 and be and remain in the healthy BMI weight category. Each day is a struggle and it will continue to be so for the rest of my life. It just is the way it is.

160.2 11am 25.86 BMI

Holy crap! I made it this morning! 101.0 pounds lost!!!!!! I have been losing weight for the last 6 YEARS and finally lost over 100 pounds. That is crazy. Really hard to wrap my head around. I am really curious how much skin/fat was removed with my tummy tuck. The breast implants added right at two pounds to my weight. I have been working hard at weight loss for months now though... ever since I first brought up cosmetic surgery with my husband back in mid September, I think. I am 5.3 pounds above being in the BMI healthy weight range. Holy Hell. I never thought I would make it.I am 0.3 pounds above being in the 150s!!!!!! Wow. That is INSANE. Reading through my old blog posts, I couldn't even truly fathom being at this weight for the longest time.

I hadn't planned on telling anyone but my husband about the cosmetic surgery, but my husband says I am not going to be able to hide it and everyone (meaning in his family) will be able to tell. So far, I have been wearing a lot of jackets since it is the dead of winter and it hasn't come up. No one has noticed beyond my parents noticing I was a little thinner when I was up there at the start of December.

162.2 11am

Wow. I am down 99 lbs. I may have made 100 pounds today, as yesterday I was 161.6 at 9am.... BUT, I had 7 cherry cordials and a lot of ribs and 2 crescent rolls yesterday for New Years Eve. It's really hard to wrap my head around getting down to this weight, after trying for so long. I looked at pictures this morning from the last couple years and you can really see the difference between weighing 195ish and I looked at a few from the trip down to Miami right before my surgery, when I saw a low of 165.2 pounds, a couple of days before the surgery.

I am so happy to be having this second chance at feeling great about my body. I was going to take some pictures of myself in the buff, but decided against it, because I don't photograph well and may end up feeling self conscious of things that I am surprisingly happy with right now. I am still trying to lose weight as my face looks better than it has in a long time. The weight loss really helps my face, despite having some loose skin on my neck. I will just have to find where I look best regarding loose skin on my limbs versus not looking too gaunt in the face versus looking better in clothes. It's funny, because when I was in my twenties, the goal was always just to lose as much weight as was possible.

I am healing well. It has now been 2 weeks and 1 day since the surgery. It will just take time to get back to 100%.

165.2 9am

I've been quite good for months now and my weight shows it. I had my extended tummy tuck with <1000cc flank liposuction and 415 cc silicone transaxillary breast implants on December 17th in Miami, Fl. DH and I drove down on the 13th and headed home on the 26th and got home on the night of December 27th. I saw as low as 165.2 a couple of days before surgery, but swelling had me up a few pounds since then. Today's weigh in was a repeat of the lowest weight I have seen in 17 years. If I lose four more pounds, I will hit 100 pounds lost, which would be quite exciting. If I manage to get down ten more pounds I would be in a healthy weight range for the first time since I was twenty years old. That is really hard to wrap my mind around. The skin on my thighs, arms, neck and butt is showing the weight loss, but I think I can lose up to fifteen more pounds without it being too much of a problem. My skin has recovered remarkably well (I believe that despite the fact that I had the mommy makeover). I just never would have been able to recapture a slim waistline without squidgy rolls of skin. My breasts weren't too bad, but definitely had a laxity I wasn't happy with. DH was so supportive throughout this process and it really makes me appreciate him even more. He has never said anything bad about my body throughout any of the weight gain or loss and has said I didn't need the surgery but if it was something that would make me happier about my body he thought I should do it. Surgery was $7000, hotels were around $1200, gas $275, pre-op labs, mammogram, ecg and Dr visit we're around $500 including travel expenses, and prescription s came to about $140. The largest expense is the time I will continue to have to take off work and that I have already missed. I can already tell though at twelve days postop that I think it was 100% worth it. My surgeon did an amazing job and when the scarring has lightened it will be beautiful. I scar really well because of my super pale skin. I'm so glad that we could make this happen for me and so happy my husband never balked at the expense.

173.8 (8am)

This is the lowest weight I've been in 17 years. I've been trying as hard as I can for a couple months now. This fat is very stubborn. I have my mmo scheduled for December. 17th. I only have 4weeks and 5days left. I am hoping to get down to 165, but don't know if it is possible based on how slow the last three pounds came off. I try to remember though that all I have control of are my actions.

180.6 7:30 am

I'm so close to the 170s again Everything is looking so much better than when I was in the middle of 190s. That 15 lbs makes a big difference.

181.4 8am

I've been working on it pretty solidly for a couple weeks now. I'm happy to be so close to the 170s again. I've scheduled a mommy makeover for December 17th (including extended tummy tuck, 1000 cc lipo of flanks a gummy bear breast implants). That is 10 weeks 3 days from now. I am desperately trying to lose another 20 pounds between now and then. In a dream world I would stay at 160 lbs. I'm working hard at it, but work is crazy right now, so I may have to be happy with 15 lbs. I'll be curious to see how successful I am. I've been at this weight for about five years now, despite very strong efforts to get lower.

186.0 10:45am

Working on it. Trying to be hungry each day and not very good at it right now.

183.2 (6am)

I've really struggled this month. I've eaten more produce than I have ever eaten in my life I think. Maybe too many carbs? Not sure. I was putting it down to hormones (I am a month late on my cycle), but at this point, think maybe the excess carbs have caused a few occations of insulin induced non-keto choices (large dairy queen blizzard, a couple of apple fritters, halo top ice cream, a pint of ben & jerry's ice cream). So, although I am pleased to be at 183.2 this morning (as it is quite a bit lower than I was almost all of last year), I am still struggling. I KNOW this is going to be a life long struggle for me, I just wish it would get a little easier some days.

182.8 6pm

I've been going to bed at 7 or 8 am the last week or so... thus the late weigh in. I've been struggling with my appetite as well for the last 5 or 6 days. I've eaten a few things I shouldn't and eaten at or above calorie need on other days, despite being low carb. I am 2-3 weeks late on my period as well... so I think it is just hormones being wonky.

180.8 7am

I've been successfully taking off weight for about five to six weeks now. I think this is the lowest weight I've been in a couple years. I've been working hard at it as well as walking a lot. My arms and stomach really show the improvement. I go home in four and a half weeks. I hope to be able to get under 170 at that time, but all I can control are my actions of course. Still, I am very hopeful. It is PMS week and I have really been struggling with hunger and not walking as much as I wanted to.

186.4 6am

I've been on track about 2 weeks now. I've been walking about 3 miles most days for the last week (I walked 6 miles today). My weight is gradually coming down. It feels good to be in the groove again!

188.2 7am

It feels sooooo good to be back below 190. This is the lowest I've been in over a year. I am focusing now on getting back to 183.2 (5 more pounds), where I will be back in the overweight category and no longer "obese".

193.0 5:45am

Been low carb, low calorie for 4 days now, so 193 is my "true" weight. I feel like I might be ready to make a long run at strict dieting for a while. I have 10 weeks before I head back to Oklahoma (out of state working right now). I could potentially lose up to 25 pounds in that time. That would be AMAZING.

194.4 3pm

Each day gets a little easier when you are on plan.

195.6 1pm

I'm have been sick with a cold for the last week. Still trying to fight it off. This is a low carb 1000 calorie prior day weight. I think I am like exactly the same weight as Jan 1st 2017, so that is both depressing and a good thing. I feel like I worked on my weight a LOT in 2017 and only managed to stay exactly the same weight. I was on plan at least 80% of the time and would periodically go off the rails and gain a lot of weight (up to 206 pounds at one point) and then "cut" via low calorie low carb to get back down the the mid 190's. I saw a low of ~191-192 last month. I don't know if this is ever going to get easier. I guess it isn't.

Thoughts for 2018... I would like to drop artificial sweeteners 100%. I think this is where a lot of my cravings stem from. I also would like to consistently walk and build up to being able to even run and doing so weight lifting. I would also like to quit with the on plan, off plan, on plan, off plan bullshit. It's exhausting. I would like to stick more with a 4 hour eating window. I have pretty much eliminated breakfast from my life, but I would like to narrow that eating window down even more and try to incorporate some 24-48 hour fasts in there. I've recently been reading and watching videos on fasting and autophagy and am interested in trying to add regular fasting to my life.

All in all, I feel kinda complacent about my weight. Losing down to sub 180 again would make a big difference in how my knees and joints feel. I worry about how much wear and tear I am putting on my body, by carrying around this extra 50 pounds.

197.0 1:30pm

This year has been tough. I've seen as high as 206.0 (morning weight) on the scale and haven't seen below 190.0. I've struggled mentally with a mild depression and have gone off the rails with ice cream/cookies/cake again and again. I will almost binge eat on that junk for several days and then as I watch my weight steadily rise each day (I still try to weigh in EVERY day), I will get a handle on it. I don't know what the long term solution is beyond weighing every day, remaining keto, and weighing/measuring everything + logging it for the rest of my life. My tendency to let a non-lowcarb treat turn in to a bunch of junk for days has been a reoccurring theme for so long. I hate it and yet when I am on track for a while, I get to thinking I am doing great and can afford to go off plan. It sucks. I've struggled with lethargy as well this year. I just don't have the energy I wish I had. Obviously walking would be a good step towards getting more energy. I also could stand to get more sunlight. I had PRK surgery in May and have tried to stay out of the sun for months to let my eyes heal as well as they possibly could. (I am currently at 20/10 so am super happy with the surgery outcome). I don't know, I just wish it was easier than it has been. I think about and struggle with my weight soooooo much for being 200 pounds. I eat well at least 80% of the time, but that 20% is enough to keep me at this weight.

202.2 (8am)

I was 204.4 yesterday at 8am. That was a carb bloated weight.

195.2 2pm

Woke up at 2pm. Yesterday food 783 calories, 45 g. fat, 40.3 g carb (25.8 g. NET carbs), 62.4 grams protein.

196.0 9:30 am

Low carb low food for about a week.

205.0 9am

203.2 (9am)

So this weight was preceded by ice cream, birthday cake, cookies, chips and salsa, and a lot in the way of quantities. I think I am the fattest I have been in years. Not good.

195.8 (10am)

I have been solidly in the upper 190's for the last 8-10 months I think. I have tried and tried to at least get back to the lower 180's and just continue to struggle. Today is the 2nd day of weighing/logging everything in fitday. I have had about 1000 low carb calories each day. I am going to log/weigh/calorie restrict/carb restrict for a while and see if I can't get back to a little lower, more comfortable weight. I just feel like my stomach/liver is really bloated huge lately. But I keep struggling. I will do well for a few days and then blow it with an ice cream/candy mix treat or blow it by being low carb but just eating in a real almost binging manner. It's tough. I've been struggling for so long.

199.0 (9:30am)

I am really continuing to struggle. Yesterday I was 200.4 lbs.

196.0 10:30am

I ate 2 cups of fried rice yesterday, 5 chocoloate chip cookies, 10 thin mints and a bunch of m&m's as well as about 20 oz of steak. So this is a carb bloated weight.