183.2 (9:15am)

I've eaten like a pig for the last 6 days or so. PMS or gluttony, I'm not sure.

174.8 (11:30am)

Well, getting under 175 was a tremendous accomplishment. To say it has been HARD is such an understatement. I still would at some point like to get down to 161 (100 pounds lost). It's been so difficult just getting to 174.8 though, that I just don't know if it is possible. I am hoping that my continued weight loss will equate to greater insulin sensitivity.

80.45 kg (10am) (177.36lbs) wearing t-shirt, yoga pants, panty, bra and socks) after drinking 16 oz water

I am REALLy close to 175 (naked, no food, no water, morning weight) I think. I THINK I am at a new low. I feel like I am. I can feel all my ribs really readily now (front and back). I head home in 4 more days. I am hoping to be able to get solidly under 175 before leaving. That would be really awesome. I haven't been at 175 in a very long time. I think it's been since 2002? Somewhere in there. I should be able to get out some old winter clothes out of storage that should fit well now. That's exciting. One of the favorite parts of weight loss for me is getting out old clothes that I used to wear and trying them on again and having them fit. I remember when I was 250-260, going through all my old clothes and just thinking that they were so SMALL. It's kinda weird to have weight loss work after having it not work for so long. I also think it's really fortunate that I stabilized at 180-195 for around 20 months. I almost don't believe that I can lose any more weight from here. Each pound is very, very difficult to lose. However, I do believe it benefits me (better for my joints and insulin sensitivity), so I keep on trying. Whether it is sustainable in the long run, I just don't know. It's so very easy for me to go home after a business trip and regain all I've lost in a matter of 10-14 days. It's so hard not to allow that to happen every time. Honestly, I know my life won't change at all, by being any thinner than I am now. If anything, I worry about what my skin will look like. I will look better in clothes, but worse out of clothes. My breasts are back down to a solid B cup. If I had the time off of work and the faith in cosmetic surgeons required, I would have a circumferential body lift (tummy tuck), but I doubt I will ever go that route. Perhaps if I get another 30 pounds off and the state of affairs is too depressing, I would... I just doubt I ever will.

I feel good lately though. Hopeful that I have finally figured out how to beat obesity. It still requires a tremendous amount of daily weighing and depriving me of a lot of the foods I would prefer to eat. But I do feel like I solidly understand what I need to do to maintain my weight sub-200 pounds. I would like to say sub-190 pounds, but I do know that I plan to NEVER allow it to get over 200 again. I think that may be the benefit of having stayed at this weight for as long as I have. It really gave my brain a chance to get used to being this weight. I no longer feel skinny at this weight. I feel normal. Even though this is the thinnest weight I have been in a very, very long time.