186.0 8:30am

I've been losing weight for over five weeks now. I was going to planet fitness every day before i checked in at San Antonio for 109 days. I've been here 15 days now. my weight has been going down steadily, which has been really exciting. covid put a good thirty pounds on me and i am so ready to take it all back off. i am hopeful that i can be back down to 159 before april 2nd when i leave. that is 13.5 weeks from now, so i think i should even be able to get to 158 even. that would be a new Lowe, so it's possible i might struggle to get that low. my body is surely going to fight me along the way. I'm eager to look like my best self. I'm already looking so much better than seventeen pounds ago.

188.8 Noon

I've been as high as 192 or 193 and as low as 171 since posting last. I am at the top of my range right now. I've been home from work since the end of February and have gained about 20 pounds in that time (so a little over three months). I feel heavy. I don't feel cute right now. A lot of my clothes are too tight to wear. I don't feel really guilty per se... just tired of struggling with this so much. I fasted 36 hours before noon today. I just have been having so much trouble with eating carbs and junk. Same as always. I don't know what the long term solution is. I've been thinking lately that playing online too much while I'm home is part of the problem though. Not being productive. Not having goals that I am working towards. I tend to let myself do what I want to much (seeking pleasure instead of long term happiness).

I'm still working on it after all these years. I really hoped at some point I would find out what the long term solution is.