190.0 7:15 a.m.

Down 2.6 lbs while I was away. I consider that an grand success. I made the best meal choices I could. Food was provided to me and I just did the best I could with what I had. It was tough and I felt like I was hungry quite a bit of the time. I got home yesterday around 3pm and bought veggies and meat for the coming week. I am quite proud of myself for that part as well. Having the appropriate foods on hand is about 80% of the problem for me. Then just have to make sure I eat those choices instead of other poor choices.

192.6 (11:15am).

So, I am getting all packed today and leaving bright and early tomorrow morning. I have anxiety about it, because I always have anxiety about new things. I'll be glad when I am there and know what to expect. Diet yesterday was excellent, but I didn't weigh anything on the scale. But both meals were with 4 oz lean beef cooked 8-12ish oz of low carb veggies. I had coffee with heavy cream for breakfast.

196.6 (10am) after eating taco bueno last night

Super frustrated that I am AGAIN having so much trouble. I really need to get incredibly strict for a while, but to have faith in myself that I can be strict if I want to.

192.2 (9:15am)

Quite a few calories yesterday (1557), but the weight is going down. I am committing to WEIGHING and RECORDING all my food in fitday EVERY day that I am not away on business through August 31st. Realistically (assuming I normally use 2000 calories, which I think is quite conservative), I can lose 16.2 lbs of fat (plus a little bit more water weight that I am still probably carrying right now). So, I think I could potentially (best case scenario) get down to 176.0 by September 1st.

I had coffee with 54 grams heavy cream and sucralose powder for breakfast. For lunch I made 4oz (raw weight) 73/27 ground beef with 1.5 oz raw very thinly sliced onion, 7 oz (raw weight) green cabbage and 8.5 oz zucchini squash cut into noodles with my julienne slicer (about $2 on ebay out of china), salt, pepper and garlic powder. Lunch was delicious. For dinner I think I am having a 6 oz (raw frozen weight) of tiliapia cooked with about 8 oz zucchini cut into long wedges. I wrap it both things up in a tinfoil pounch with salt, pepper and garlic powder (dill or parsley can be good too) and cook it in my convection oven 30-40 minutes (I like it super well done). I then make a sauce out of 50 grams sour cream, garlic or onion powder, white vinegar, sucralose powder and any other spices/seasoning I feel like throwing in at the time. This is a delicious dinner and one that I ate quite a lot last summer when I was losing a lot of my weight. I am trying to eat more vegetable and keep my calories in check for each day, but again, low carb is more important than calorie restriction.

I got a call today to finalize my business trip next week. I will be heading out early Monday morning and will be gone almost 2 weeks. I would like to just hold steady weight wise during that time and be conscious of what I am eating during that time and make the best choices that I can. It is hard when you don't control your own food, but I will just do the best I can.

I also wanted to touch briefly today and smarties candies. Dr. Richard Bernstein recommends 5-6 smarties (dependent on body weight), when you feel anxious/hyperinsulinemic. It is supposed to be enough to raise your blood sugar about 10 points, but not be enough to force your body to release more insulin. I have been trying that in the evenings when I get that frantic hungry for starch (goodies) feeling. It really does seem to work. The smarties candies are dextrose (versus the standard sucrose/fructose that is in most candies/baked goods etc). The dextrose is supposed to be available to the body IMMEDIATELY without going through any chemical processing by the body. So far it DOES seem to work. Six smarties for me is about 40% of one of those rolls. Only 10 calories and about 2.5 grams of carbohydrate (straight dextrose sugar). Pixie sticks also contain straight dextrose, but I don't know what the dosing would be for the pixie sticks.

Later that day (8:36pm)

Wow. I am really struggling right now. I ended the day at 777 calories. I am quite pleased with that. I will shoot for 800-1000 calories for the next 5 days and then on Monday shoot for 1400 calories / 100 Net carbs.

197.0 (9:30am)

Yeah. Just very frustrating. I am on track now... will have coffee with cream and avocado salad later and then hamburger with cabbage stir-fry for dinner. I am just pretty disappointed in myself.