183.8 (8:30am)

I'm still on track with calories and logging. It's been hard. I've been HUNGRY. It's funny, at 183, not being able to imagine getting back under 180. I've tried for the last 15+ months to get back under 180 and been unable to do it, so it's just become this huge mental barrier.

183.8 (noon)

Last night was HARD. I made it, but it was really tough. I am going to take it easy today.

185.2 (11am)

Yesterday was successful. I ate appropriately and logged everything in Fitday. I am starting off today on track as well. I am just trying to string a bunch of successful days in a row here. That's my focus. Not weightloss. The actions. I need the actions to be consistent.

This afternoon I am going in to get another laser tattoo removal session. This will be my 4th. $30 each session to remove a tiny (smaller than a dime) tattoo on my ankle. It's going well so far. I also plan on stopping by the grocery store and getting some more vegetables. That's all I have planned for today. I'm just focusing on the correct diet actions. Period.

186.2 (10am) home scale

I was high carb day before yesterday, eating skittles and iced lemon cookies (about 300-400 grams of carbs). Yesterday I was 100% on track calorically and micro-wise. I am down 3.0 pounds today (water weight). I am hoping to quickly get back down under 185. I am working really hard right now to mentally get myself in a good place. I want to consistently track in Fitday again. I did yesterday and am working on it today. I am in the good place in my monthly cycle now for not fighting cravings and struggling as much. I am hoping to consistently (EVERY day track and be on target with my nutrition).

I have a trip down to Texas coming up this weekend (leaving on Sunday) and will come back late Monday night. I plan to remain 100% on track.

I have ordered the books "The Bulletproof Diet" and "The Thin Commandments Diet" from my library and will be reading them to hopefully keep my motivation up. I feel comfortable at this weight 185-190. I no longer feel thin at this weight. I think that means that I am really ready for the 2nd part of my journey. I KNOW that it is going to be really hard to take off more weight and keep it off. I really feel as if the stress on my joints and the appearance of my arms and stomach will improve with additional weightloss.

I am shooting for absolute strictness now. Weighing food on digital scale, logging food in Fitday, meeting macro goals as well as caloric goals and weighing myself each day.

Lately, I just have felt in an emotional funk. I want to get out of it and work on achieving my goals.

185.8 lbs (10am)

I'm trying so hard to get back below (and STAY below) 30 BMI. My body just wants me to be the in the 190 range. I think it is going to take a ton of effort to get below 180 and stay there. Right now at 185.8, I shouldn't have a huge task in front of me to get to sub 180, but I think this may end up being the hardest weight I will ever try to lose. I just lived so long at the weight I am now. My body seems incredibly comfortable with it and holds here tenaciously.