241.4

So... I have steadily gained back all the weight I lost. Every pound. Eating what I wanted to eat in the portions I wanted to eat them in. That's rough. It's difficult to discover that if you eat what you want and in the quantities you body desires, you are destined to be obese. Part of me thinks I should just accept being fat. The other part knows that it is too hard on my body/spirit to live this way.

I tried to get back on track yesterday and fell apart around 6pm and then had chocolate bars (3!), coke, and nachoes. Yeah. Not good. I was sooo disappointed in myself. I know if I could just string enough days together of being on track it would get easier. Today... I am shooting for 800-1000 calories, at least 50 grams of protein and no more than 36 grams of carbs. I've done it before. I can do it again. I know the only true answer for me long term is zero carb or Dr. Bernsteins 6/12/12 (carbs per meal) plan. More carbs just equals more cravings and more eating for me.

I still have 5 1/2 days of my Dipro prescription left, so I am going to take if through Sunday and hopefully will feel like I am on track by then. Going through sugar detox sucks and the cravings for me are always really intense. I can do this! I have to do this.