186.6 lbs (7:30am)

Wow. Up 10 pounds from 4 days ago. I should be up about 2.5 pounds I think from excess calories. I think I probably have an extra 2 pounds of food weight in my body right now and 5 pounds of water weight gain. I will be curious to see how fast it goes down. We went to the Chinese Buffet for my husbands birthday and then on Christmas yesterday I pretty much binged all day. I am ready to be back on my low carb diet. It will feel good not to have a yucky stomach anymore.

Later that day (7:45pm)

So I ate a bunch of junk (ice cream, chips ahoy, jelly beans, junior mints, pre-made commercial frozen meatballs with bottled Mae Ploy sweet and sour sauce (which has traditionally given me MSG headaches)) this evening... my calories now stand at 2972 for the day, 146.6 grams fat, 291.5 - 18.7 fiber =272.8 NET carbs, 128.3 grams protein. I feel HORRIBLE. My stomach is all bloated and feels sick (almost like I ate something bad). I feel all bloated and sluggish. I was complaining to my husband that I had eaten a bunch of stuff that I hadn't wanted to and he pointed out that today I had also complained that my boobs hurt. Of course! My period is coming soon. I almost always lose control during PMS week. (Which normally for me only means tender boobs, tiredness and huge cravings. I don't think I generally get moody).

176.6 lbs. (8:45am) 33.4% body fat, 27.9 BMI Per Omron

Crazy. I don't think I can adequately express how odd it is mentally for me to actually be losing weight. I have tried for so long. I had become a obese girl in my head and now that I am am normal average american woman size (size 14), it's just really hard for my mind to grasp. I think it might take a year or so for my brain to accept. I have been spot on plan for the last week to maybe 10 days. I'm not sure how strict I will be on Christmas day. Losing so much weight has made it a lot easier for me to stick to my guns in family eating situations though.

Yesterday's foods (this same sort of thing (plus amounts) were eaten over the last four days actually):

11am - coffee with 125 grams half and half, powder sucralose (from Amazon), & almond extract (8 drops)

4pm - 1/4 lb pre-made frozen hamburger patty (27/73) cooked with 3.95 oz raw onions, 11.90 oz chopped green cabbage, salt, pepper and garlic powder (note that the frozen hamburger patty was chopped up as it cooked and the onions and cabbage were sauteed in the beef fat that the hamburger patty released - no fat was removed from the pan)

6pm - 60 grams cheddar cheese (slightly warmed in the microwave)

9pm - 4.07 oz raw baby carrots and 6.98 oz raw turnip (1 medium peeled)

Thoughout the day I also drank an entire 2 liter of diet mountain dew (I am having trouble stopping this bad habit) and 1 16oz Hot herbal licorice tea (Stash brand). That hot tea is amazing. You don't have to add any sweeteners or anything and it is perect.

So yesterday ended up at 960 caloies, 60.7 grams fat, 60.2 - 16.2 fiber = 44.0 grams NET carbs (this was a little higher than normal from the 9pm 4 oz of raw carrots), 48.7 grams protein

Yesterday really represents exactly the eating pattern I've been using the lose these last 62 pounds. Low calorie, strictly controlled protein amounts (that are evenly spread throughout the day) and low carb. I feel amazing eating this way. I DO miss my old treats, but it is worth it to feel (and look!) so much better.

179.0 lbs.

Today is the 2nd day in a row under 180 lbs. =) Just weird. I've now lost a total (from my highest of 261.2) of 82.2 lbs. I can't even articulate how much better my body feels and how I am treated better by strangers. It was 3 months ago today (September 19th) that I was blogging about hitting 199.0. These last 20 pounds have been slow (averaging 6.67 lbs per month, or right at 1.5 pounds per weeks), but I think it has led me to feel solidly at my weight.

181.8 (9:30am)

I was as low as 181.0 yesterday morning. I really couldn't believe it. It's just very surreal to be able to lose this weight after trying for SO MANY years and having such little success. Really dialing in my macro-nutrients has made SUCH a difference. I tried on a pair of Levi Silvertab SIZE 11 jeans I wore all the time 15 years ago and they are so close to fitting. I can zip them and everything, but they are still a little too tight on the waist band to comfortably wear. It's just hard to wrap my mind around. My husband and I decided to get a good flat screen tv for our bedroom for a joint Christmas gift. And then we were only going to exchange about $50 worth of small gifts. Two years ago he got me 5 pairs of pajamas for Christmas and I loved that gift (they are all either XL or 1X). They are all getting way to large. I told him I wanted pajamas for Christmas, but I wasn't really sure whether I needed Large or Mediums, so I went with him and picked out all my pajamas. MOST are mediums!!! They are all still a little tight, but in another 5-10 pounds should fit perfectly. I teared up in the dressing room trying on a pair of medium satin pajamas. (The same brand as another set I have at home that is an XL and was too tight for almost 2 years for me to wear. It's just really hard to wrap my head around.

So, I am firmly in ketosis again and am hoping to be able to get down to 165 by the first of February. I got down to 163 for a couple weeks back in 2001 and then rapidly gained back 30-40 pounds that fall/winter. When I met my husband (age 22) I was right at 165-167. I haven't been less than 163 since I was 21 (17 years!!!). If I can manage to get down to 163-165 I might hang out there for a little while and let my body try to stabilize for a little bit. I really don't want to lose any more hair (hair thinning from weight loss) if at all possible. I also want my skin to rebound as well as possible. I am really lucky in that I have never really had cellulite (even at 260 lbs my skin was quite smooth), but I am getting a little wrinkling in my thigh area down to my upper knees. I am hoping to end up with nice looking upper thighs (as I like to wear shorts in the summer- even at my highest weight), so I know that slow and steady will be helpful with my skin rebound.

184.8 (9:30am), 111 mg/dL BG 10:30 am (forgot Metformin dosage last night)

So, I am pleased to FINALLY be back under 185. I am going to try really hard this month to get to 179.8 lbs. I was at 182-183 for 1-3 years when I was 22-24 years in age. (Briefly getting into the 175 area and then occationally getting up to 190. This might be a hard weight for me to break through. All I can do is my best with my eating though and see what happens.

Yesterday I went to the diet doctor and got a refill on my prescription. I hadn't been in for a refill since the start of September. I was somewhat surprised that they let me get a refill, since I had missed 2 monthly appointments. Luckily I had lost 19 pounds and I think that they like to take credit for my weight loss. I would say that the diet pills help 10%. Which is worth it to me financially, because I am so desperate to get back down to a normal healthy weight. But the true trick is logging/weighing all your food, sticking to the correct macros (fat/protein/carbs) and sticking under 40 net carbs per day, while making sure that your calories are restricted somewhat. The higher the calorie restriction the faster the weight loss, but I actually think the first 3 things are more important than the rate of weight loss. Slower weight loss is better for skin recovery and well as making sure you are getting enough nutrients. Faster weight loss is great for motivation and helping you believe you can actually lose the weight. I think if I hadn't have lost weight as quickly as I did in July and August, I might have become discouraged and went back to eating too many carbs. Having that large weight loss was very motivational though and has kept me better on track this last month or two, when I have struggled mentally with hunger. The pounds are harder to remove now and I am experiencing a lot more hunger. I don't know if that is caused by too often going to high on my carbs (leading the the "zone of misery") or if it is strictly resulting from having so much less adipose tissue to feed my energy needs.