Why are you overweight?
I think I am overweight because over the years I have really messed up my seritonin reactions to eating. My full switch, for lack of a better term, doesn't seem to signal as quickly as other people's. I was/am able to eat simple carbs to the point of getting a chemical high from the foods I ate/eat. I used this to make myself feel better during a really stressful time in my life. I think after this happened, I have a physical chemical dependancy on food. I routinely abuse foods (that I don't even especially care for) in an effort to feel better. I will eat candy after candy, not even bothering to taste them. I know that after the last fifteen years of doing this, that when I feel bored/down it is a quick and easy cure.
As I have gained weight, it has become physically harder to exercise. What was once enjoyable exercise is no longer enjoyable. I feel like a slug. I am packing around 100 extra pounds. That makes me move less in itself.
What are you truly hungry for?
Security. Too feel loved. To feel accomplishment.
Why did you fail?
I routinely have good intentions. I can undo a day's good efforts in less than 10 minutes. I make excuses for myself, allowing my short term pleasure/enjoyment to push back the enjoyment I would get from being fit and healthy. Tomorrow comes day after day with promises for the future. At this point I have been fat for almost 5000 tomorrows. I am pushing off today's efforts for minimal pleasure.
Why do you want to lose weight?
I used to really enjoy outside activities. Hiking/camping/swimming/roller skating/biking. I felt good about myself when doing these activities. I think of myself poorly and so do think of me poorly for my inability to control my weight. This is not healthy for my body or my spirit.
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