Did not weigh in today (out of town) Yesterday 185.2 (9am)

I have been out of town at my parents for the last 18 days. I originally planned to only be here for 7 days, but circumstances made me extend my trip from 1 week to 3 weeks. I am flying home this coming Friday. I didn't weigh in today, but yesterday weighed in at 185.2. I brought my portable scale with me, but just didn't weigh today because things have been crazy.

It has been a good trip and I am grateful to be able to spend so much time with my parents, but I miss my husband. I have only been only been home about 10 days in the last 50 days and it is too long to be away. My youngest dog had to be put down Christmas morning. She went in to the emergency vet at 3:00 a.m. with weird symptoms and x-rays showed she was full of cancer. To say that it was a horrible Christmas and a traumatic time emotionally is an understatement. But it reminded me that life is unpredictable and that my parents won't be around forever... so I need to spend whatever time I can with them. It was really nice to be able to be here and help out when they needed me.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve and I have been ruminating today on things I hope to accomplish in the coming year. I usually make resolutions each year, or at least think about my life and things I hope to work on in the coming year, if not resolutions exactly. I would like to lose more weight. I am very happy and grateful that I have managed to remain in the 180's and 190's for almost all of 2014, but I would like to finally get down in to the 170's and STAY THERE. It would be really nice to be a size 14 / large and remain there. I would of course prefer to be smaller than that, but I honestly don't think it is possible(?) for me to easily get into the 160's and remain there. I would much rather get to the 170's and not yo-yo any more. But really each day is a struggle to eat as I know I should. I have gathered tricks and tools over the last year and feel confident that I know what I need to do to remain sub 200 lbs, but would like to improve that if I could.

I also would like to improve on my business in the coming year. I will be 40 in 2015 and it is time to have our financial house in order. This includes buying our permanent home and also getting 2 new (to us) cars that are a bit newer. Specifically I would like to put more concentrated effort into expanding our existing business.

190.6 (10am) home, naked, old scale

Fully carbed up weight. I am really disgusted with myself that I have allowed myself to get back up over 190. I don't know why it's so hard to get and stay at 180. I am on track today though. I promise myself.

I am leaving for my parents tomorrow and will be there for 6 days. They tend to be really supportive of my low carb eating, but it is difficult to keep my calories as low as I would like.

190.4 (10:30am)

Still sick. Still spending every day in bed and eating junk. Not cool. I can't seem to get better.

187.2 (old scale 10am naked)

Still sick. Today is day 4. I am making some homemade chicken and vegetable soup and staying in bed all day. I feel a little better, but not enough to go back to my regular life yet. I ate some carbs yesterday, but used some self control. I want to get back 100% on track. This is my carbed up, not excess food the prior day 10am weight. I think my decarbed weight would be 183.6 or so. I am going to put a lot of salt in the soup I am making to help with getting off the carbs again.

187.4 (naked, old scale, at home) day #3 of being sick 10am

So, I am still sick. I ate high carb AGAIN yesterday. Quite disappointed in myself... I just didn't have the oomph to care what I was eating. I am hoping I can get back under 183 quick enough. I am drinking my coffee with 50 grams of heavy cream right now, with plans of being on track today. My throat is sooo sore. My body has the standard flu aches and pains. I feel like I have a mild fever and mild head congestion. I feel a little better than yesterday, so hopefully am on the mend.