182.6 (9:30 am) (3rd day in Texas)

I am working in Texas for the next 19 days. I am hoping to get my weight back under 185 during that time. I even plan to do a little walking each day. Eating like a machine for the 2 weeks around thanksgiving put a solid 7 pounds or so on me. Not sure why I did that beyond PMS. Just a horrible trend.

183.2 (9:15am)

I've eaten like a pig for the last 6 days or so. PMS or gluttony, I'm not sure.

174.8 (11:30am)

Well, getting under 175 was a tremendous accomplishment. To say it has been HARD is such an understatement. I still would at some point like to get down to 161 (100 pounds lost). It's been so difficult just getting to 174.8 though, that I just don't know if it is possible. I am hoping that my continued weight loss will equate to greater insulin sensitivity.

80.45 kg (10am) (177.36lbs) wearing t-shirt, yoga pants, panty, bra and socks) after drinking 16 oz water

I am REALLy close to 175 (naked, no food, no water, morning weight) I think. I THINK I am at a new low. I feel like I am. I can feel all my ribs really readily now (front and back). I head home in 4 more days. I am hoping to be able to get solidly under 175 before leaving. That would be really awesome. I haven't been at 175 in a very long time. I think it's been since 2002? Somewhere in there. I should be able to get out some old winter clothes out of storage that should fit well now. That's exciting. One of the favorite parts of weight loss for me is getting out old clothes that I used to wear and trying them on again and having them fit. I remember when I was 250-260, going through all my old clothes and just thinking that they were so SMALL. It's kinda weird to have weight loss work after having it not work for so long. I also think it's really fortunate that I stabilized at 180-195 for around 20 months. I almost don't believe that I can lose any more weight from here. Each pound is very, very difficult to lose. However, I do believe it benefits me (better for my joints and insulin sensitivity), so I keep on trying. Whether it is sustainable in the long run, I just don't know. It's so very easy for me to go home after a business trip and regain all I've lost in a matter of 10-14 days. It's so hard not to allow that to happen every time. Honestly, I know my life won't change at all, by being any thinner than I am now. If anything, I worry about what my skin will look like. I will look better in clothes, but worse out of clothes. My breasts are back down to a solid B cup. If I had the time off of work and the faith in cosmetic surgeons required, I would have a circumferential body lift (tummy tuck), but I doubt I will ever go that route. Perhaps if I get another 30 pounds off and the state of affairs is too depressing, I would... I just doubt I ever will.

I feel good lately though. Hopeful that I have finally figured out how to beat obesity. It still requires a tremendous amount of daily weighing and depriving me of a lot of the foods I would prefer to eat. But I do feel like I solidly understand what I need to do to maintain my weight sub-200 pounds. I would like to say sub-190 pounds, but I do know that I plan to NEVER allow it to get over 200 again. I think that may be the benefit of having stayed at this weight for as long as I have. It really gave my brain a chance to get used to being this weight. I no longer feel skinny at this weight. I feel normal. Even though this is the thinnest weight I have been in a very, very long time.

178.8 (9am)

I'm still in KC. Quite happy to be at this weight this morning. I am GOING to get under 175 once and for all.

181.2 (10:30am) (In K.C.)

This is my low carb weight. I'm fairly ok with it. I will be in K.C. another 12 days and hope to make a 3-4 pounds loss. Today the food menu looks to be incredibly carb heavy, so not sure how well I can do. I just skipped breakfast, as it was just starches and sugar.

181.2 (9:30am) home

Home. Had a large Reese's mix with extra Reeses, but otherwise just ate low carb.

182.6 (7am pacific) travel scale

Today is my last full day in Oregon. Luckily, I have managed to get my weight back down to 182.6. I'll fly home to Oklahoma Wednesday and drive to Kansas Wednesday night. On Thursday I will then drive down to Austin. It's going to be a long couple of days.

183.6 (6:30am p.t)

Low carb, low food weight. Lost the exercise water weight retention. Hopefully tomorrow will be a tiny bit lower and I will be fine for next week.

187.6 (6:30am) full carb, exercise water retention

In Oregon right now. Ate potatoes and cake last night. Walked about a mile and a half yesterday morning and the previous day. My muscles feel sore, so hopefully a lot of this is water retention. Either way, setting this weight this morning scared me. I a interview for a job in six more days. I don't know if I am supposed to be under 32 or 30 BMI. Either way, I'll get under 30. Just wish this wasn't a recurring theme. DH is down to 195, I need to get my act together.

181.6 (9am) naked, in Texas

I had probably 150-200 grams of carbs yesterday, so I was quite happy to see 181.6 on the scale this morning. I AM trying. DH has lost about 15-20 pounds of fat and put on 5-10 pounds of muscle, so I am trying to improve my body as well. He has got amazingly fast results from his lifestyle change.

185.0 (9:15am) naked, travel scale in Texas

This is my carbed up weight. Day number 1 of my cycle. This last week was tough hunger-wise and the scale definitely reflects that. I am GOING to log and weigh every day. I can't stand this higher weight. Even though it is not much of my new normal, I can feel it. I just want to be really serious and lose 20 more pounds. It shouldn't be as hard as it's been. I feel like I have tried really hard over the last 20+ months and have lost no weight. Maybe this is just how hard I have to try to maintain. I am ok with that. Trying this hard to maintain, is OK. I just really would like to be thinner than I am right now. I would like to feel more agile.

186.6 (wearing green cargo pants, bra, panties, and two t-shirts)

Really struggling here. I am down in Texas working. All food here is quite carby. I will do my best.

184.6 (7:30am) home

I ate a lot of food yesterday (3000 calories?), but all low carb. I went walking this morning with DH. I am going to try to implement a regular walking routine.

183.4 (7am) 184.4 (clothed)

I'm still down in Texas. It's still hotter than it should be.

182.4 (10am)

Ate a pint of Ben and Jerry's yesterday, along with 2 smallish apples, peanuts and cheese. So, my weight is up a bit this morning. I really feel solid at this low 180's weight and would really like to tighten everything up nutritionally/calorically and get down to the low 160's. If I put everything into it, I think that would take me 8-10 weeks. Now staying there would be a bear. But I really, really think I am ready to commit to getting a little lower on the scale. I'm not sure things will look any better with my clothes off (in fact I am scared things might look worse), but with clothes ON, I am sure I will look better and I think I would FEEL better.

180.8 (10am)

182.4 (183.8 clothed) (6am)

105 degrees out yesterday. TOO hot. I am down in Texas this morning at a hotel. I should be able to get headed home around noon I think.

182.6 (6:15am)

182.0 (7:45am)

Better... but still trying to get back under 180.

184.4 (8am)

Man, it's just really really hard for me to get and stay under 180.

183.8 (184.8 clothed) (5:00am)

I'm in Kansas City. I have a long day ahead of me.

183.2 (9am)

Dieting is still going rough. I am in the high progesterone phase of my cycle and it just makes it really hard to restrict my eating.

183.8 (8am)

I'm pretty tired of dieting. Yesterday was hard. I really wanted a ice cream treat, but I stayed on track. Some days this is hard.

184.8 (10:30 am)

We went to Golden Corral for lunch yesterday at 3pm and then last night I had a pork steak with sauerkraut. I didn't weigh until 10:30, but I plan to be on plan 100% for these next four days. I am hoping to work in Kansas City in 5 days for a week and a half. I should find out tomorrow if I will be going.

183.8 (10am)

183.8 (184.4 clothes) (5:15am)

I'm in Kansas City this morning. Hopefully today goes well.

183.8 (9:45am)

I overate low carb items yesterday.

184.8 (8:30)

Five more days to be solidly under 30 BMI (wearing clothes). I may actually already be there, but want to give myself some wiggle room.

186.2 (8am)

Yesterday - bacon and eggs for breakfast, Mexican restaurant for lunch, boiled egg and 2 ham, cream cheese and pickle rollups for dinner. I can lose 3 pounds over the next six days.