182.8 (9am)

I had a large DQ Reeses Blizzard last night around 7pm. Other than that, I have been on track (but not restricting calories) for the last 4 days. I am trying to eat on plan (calories not overly restricted though) and then have treats when I go out if I REALLY want them. For the last year and a half, I have struggled with eating carby junk thats already in the house (examples: Fig Newtons, sour cream and onion chips, tuna sandwich, m&m's, etc, treats that aren't my 1st choice, they are junk my husband has in the house). What I want to work on, is NOT eating off plan stuff in the house. IF I want a treat enough to go out and specifically make a special trip to get it, then it would be "ok" to occasionally indulge. What I have been doing though, is going off plan, with food that isn't even special to me. That's ridiculous.

182.4 (8am)

I ate around 2000 calories yesterday. All were low carb.

183.8 (6am)

I was on track yesterday, so I think I still have a few pounds of glycogen related water weight on me.

179.2 (8:30 naked, new scale)

Finally I am back under 180. I am leaving Texas tomorrow though and plan on getting a DQ Reeses Blizzard (large with extra candy) on my drive home tomorrow. So, it will put me back up over 182 I am sure. I aim to really be on plan after that indulgence though (low carb, tracked, etc). I feel thinner than I have in a long time and it is nice. I still am trying to get under 175. It will happen eventually. I am ok with it being a longer process though.

181.8 (10:30am) home

I ate a ton of food yesterday which included about 12-15 nutter butter cookies last night, liver and onions, 700 calories of sunflower seeds, 2 truckstop polish sausages, 2 packages of peanuts, some sugar free chocolate and 2 oz of cheese. I was FULL last night, which was nice. I am sad I ate the nutter butters though. I shouldn't have. I am also sad I ate as much as I did. I think I might have eaten as much as gaining a 1/2 to 3/4 pound (calorie wise). My husband is smoking ribs today, so I am worried about how much I am going to eat today too. I REALLY don't want to gain weight this weekend.

179.4 (new scale, 9:30am)

50 hours left until I can head home. I am ready to be off from work for a few days. I am not looking forward to the 8 hour drive to get home though. Yesterday was good. I was hungry ALL day though. I'm hoping today isn't quite as hungry of a day. I really really really want to get under 175. I can remember so many different occasions when I weighed 175 and honestly, it's a pretty good weight for me. A comfortable weight for my body.

179.4(8:30 new scale naked)

woohoooooo! :)

I am pretty excited to be under 180. I didn't think it would happen today, but then it did. I can't believe how loose my jeans have gotten. I really have lost some weight from my stomach and arms and butt. I really don't ever imagine a few pounds would make any difference, but I can really tell. I've lost 2 pounds in the last week that I've been gone, which isn't great, but is great FOR ME. I lose so slowly anymore. I think it's because my daily burn rate has decreased so much. It used to be like 2600 when I was a lot heavier and it is under 1900 now. I could up my daily activity to increase it, but my history has shown that it is counter-productive for ME to do that. (It increases my appetite too much and I binge eat).

I leave in 76 hours. I am ready to head home. It's been fine down here in Texas, and I am excited to be losing weight, but I miss being home.

180.2 (8:45 new scale naked)

I was so happy to see 180.2 lbs on the scale this morning. So close to the 170's. It's just almost seems impossible to lose weight anymore, so I really am exciting to have made some headway. It doesn't seem like these last 10 pounds would make much difference, but it really has.

181.0 (8:30am) travel scale naked

I feel so close to getting under 180! It's kinda surreal. I feel so much thinner than I do at 190. You wouldn't think that it would make much of a difference. I think I am not even perceived as being really fat anymore. Maybe a little chubby and definitely not THIN, but I think I probably am just perceived as being a normal 40 year old size. It's nice. I think if I could just get down to 170, I might truly be thought of as being normal size. I am of course in the overweight BMI range. I would have to get down clear to 154 or something to be in the normal weight range. I think it's possible, but I don't know how realistic it will be for me. If it happens, it would be nice, but honestly, I am more concerned about how my skin looks at whatever weight I end up at. I really want my thighs to allow me to wear shorts without feeling self-conscious. I wore shorts at 261. My skin was nice and smooth. As I've lost weight, I am developing almost what looks like cellulite. It's not though, because when I lift on my upper butt area (like a body lift would do), the area is smooth like it should be. I do not have the connecting tissue that women have that causes the dimpling (they are like little tether lines or something). Anyway, it's just an excess skin issue of it not pulling tight. I hate it. It really makes me feel for thin women who have cellulite. It makes you hate your legs to not have them be nice and smooth. I of course also have the excess stomach skin as well. It bulges out at the sides in a muffin top fashion even without clothes on. My belly button looks like a frown too. And I have some rollover skin at the bottom of my stomach. Not a lot, but I am not fond of it, to be sure. I could definitely stand to have a body lift when my weight loss is done, but I won't. My arms are ok. They are not great and they are not bad. There is excess skin, but certainly not enough to prevent me from wearing tank tops. Which is important, as hot as it gets down here in the summers. I fantasize about having the skin from when I was at 180 coming up the scale. It was so much firmer. My skin DOES feel amazingly healthy. Supple and well conditioned. It's not dry like it used to be before my change to LCHF. My nails have become amazingly strong in the last month or two as well. I am not sure what prompted that change, but it makes me super happy. I have been plagued my whole life with thin nails that are prone to peeling in layers or bending back and cracking. I know that it has been caused by nutritional deficiencies, but despite supplementation, was never able to get them to a healthy state. I have five more days down here in Texas, then I will be going home for 4 days and then coming back down here to work for 8 more days. It is really easy to manage my diet while I am down here. I am hopeful to be able to lose a total of 3 more pounds during the 13 total days spent down here. I am sure I will have some rebound up the scale when I go home. My husband is planning to smoke some ribs and pork shoulder. I will eat to fullness on that. I will NOT eat a bunch of high carb junk.

183.8 (clothed at work 8:30am)

181.4 (8am)

I am getting close to getting under 180. It feels super exciting. I am leaving today on business. I'll come back in about a week and a half for 3 days and then leave again for another week and a half. I will come home on May 6th. I'll be working in Texas. That all should be about 3 weeks. I hope to average a pound a week loss while I am gone. As usual, meals will be provided and quite carby.

183.2 (8:30 am) 181.6 (10:15am)

Finally, a new low. (Not a new low in the context of the last 2 years of weight loss, but I think this is the lowest weight I have seen in about a year). I still have about 5 pounds to go to get under my two year low (achieved 16 months ago). My body REALLY wants to stay in the 180's I think. I have never lost such tough weight as this.

184.0 (9:30)

I am having a devil of a time getting under 180. I'm working on it. Easter was a higher calorie day (but still low carb). I feel like my body is changing though. Lots of people noticed I look thinner at Easter, so it must be working. I just kind of expected to be under 180 by now.

183.8 (8:30am)

I'm still on track with calories and logging. It's been hard. I've been HUNGRY. It's funny, at 183, not being able to imagine getting back under 180. I've tried for the last 15+ months to get back under 180 and been unable to do it, so it's just become this huge mental barrier.

183.8 (noon)

Last night was HARD. I made it, but it was really tough. I am going to take it easy today.

185.2 (11am)

Yesterday was successful. I ate appropriately and logged everything in Fitday. I am starting off today on track as well. I am just trying to string a bunch of successful days in a row here. That's my focus. Not weightloss. The actions. I need the actions to be consistent.

This afternoon I am going in to get another laser tattoo removal session. This will be my 4th. $30 each session to remove a tiny (smaller than a dime) tattoo on my ankle. It's going well so far. I also plan on stopping by the grocery store and getting some more vegetables. That's all I have planned for today. I'm just focusing on the correct diet actions. Period.

186.2 (10am) home scale

I was high carb day before yesterday, eating skittles and iced lemon cookies (about 300-400 grams of carbs). Yesterday I was 100% on track calorically and micro-wise. I am down 3.0 pounds today (water weight). I am hoping to quickly get back down under 185. I am working really hard right now to mentally get myself in a good place. I want to consistently track in Fitday again. I did yesterday and am working on it today. I am in the good place in my monthly cycle now for not fighting cravings and struggling as much. I am hoping to consistently (EVERY day track and be on target with my nutrition).

I have a trip down to Texas coming up this weekend (leaving on Sunday) and will come back late Monday night. I plan to remain 100% on track.

I have ordered the books "The Bulletproof Diet" and "The Thin Commandments Diet" from my library and will be reading them to hopefully keep my motivation up. I feel comfortable at this weight 185-190. I no longer feel thin at this weight. I think that means that I am really ready for the 2nd part of my journey. I KNOW that it is going to be really hard to take off more weight and keep it off. I really feel as if the stress on my joints and the appearance of my arms and stomach will improve with additional weightloss.

I am shooting for absolute strictness now. Weighing food on digital scale, logging food in Fitday, meeting macro goals as well as caloric goals and weighing myself each day.

Lately, I just have felt in an emotional funk. I want to get out of it and work on achieving my goals.

185.8 lbs (10am)

I'm trying so hard to get back below (and STAY below) 30 BMI. My body just wants me to be the in the 190 range. I think it is going to take a ton of effort to get below 180 and stay there. Right now at 185.8, I shouldn't have a huge task in front of me to get to sub 180, but I think this may end up being the hardest weight I will ever try to lose. I just lived so long at the weight I am now. My body seems incredibly comfortable with it and holds here tenaciously.

187.0 (11am)

I have remained low carb, but have been eating to appetite if not more. I expected to see 187.0 if not more on the scale this morning. I guess I am good with it. My PMS symptoms have been quite strong for the last 4-5 days and I think I have been experiencing a lot of progesterone mediated hunger. My breasts are still quite tender and my period still isn't here, so I expect to fight hunger today as well, when I attempt to restrict caloric intake. I will do the best I can.

Today is Saturday. I am leaving next Wednesday to drive ~1200 miles down to central Florida. I will only be down there for 1 day and then will turn around and drive back. I am pretty excited about the trip, as I have never been through any of those states really. It will be nice to see all that part of the U.S. If things turn out as I hope, I will then come home for a couple weeks and then go back to spend about a month there again.

184.4 (9AM)

So close to being back under 183. I really hope (plan) to lose 20 more pounds and get under 165. I think it would REALLY make a difference in how fat I was perceived to be. Hopefully it would also improve my energy and joint pain. I still occasionally get popping in my knees.

I have been logging my food in fitday again. It seems to be helping (as usual). I need to consistently get to tracking again. I think my lack of tracking over the last year has really contributed to my inability to get back under my low (176 or thereabouts) and make more headway.

187.8 (5am) new scale, out of town

I was pleasantly surprised to see 187.8 this morning. I've been home from my mom and dad's slightly less than three weeks and felt that I had gained more than the 3-4 pounds I am up. Today is the fifth day I am strictly back on low carb. It was kinda a free for all there for a little while after I got home. Never intentional stuff, but consistently eating my husband's treats that he keeps in the house. I just could not stay out of them! Which is very disappointing, as I don't even favor the same treats as he does.

Anyway, I drove up to Kansas last night and I will hopefully be here through Friday, although it is possible I will head home this evening. I slept horribly in this hotel room. My sleep has been all over the place (time-wise) the last 2-3 weeks and it just made it really hard to go to sleep last night. If at all possible this afternoon, I am going to take a nap (meaning if work doesn't interupt).

187.0 (noon) low carb the prior day ~1200 calories

I went to bed last night at 4am and got up and noon again. I am going to try to go to bed at a normalish time tonight! I need to get back on a regular schedule.

I fixed a fuse in my car this afternoon. So it's been a productive day so far. I think I am going to run to the store and get some silicone spray and a turkey baster. (Car windows and automotive suction tool). It's beautiful out and it's a shame to be spending today cooped up inside. Maybe that will help today be easier food wise as well. Day #3 is always a bit tough.

187.4 (noon)

So, I was 100% on plan yesterday and my weight is down 4.8 lbs from the exact same time yesterday. I didn't get up until noon, so I am really curious what my early morning weight is 8-9am. Anyway, yesterday was hard to get through, but I made it. Today will be hard too, I am sure. I really would like to get below 183 (early morning weight) before the end of the month. I don't know how doable it is... I will just have to do the best I can and I guess the weight will fall where it falls.

192.2 lbs (noon) ate a lot of food yesterday, fries and battered chicken strips at 2am

So, I am really struggling. Luckily necessity will keep me on the straight and narrow for the next 6 days. I am leaving to spend a few days out of town next Tuesday. I intend to be 100% on plan for these next 6 days, then to do the best I can with the food that I will be supplied while out of town. I hope to have another business trip as well before the end of the month.

188.4 (noon, home, old scale, ate ~2000 calories last night, including cookies)

Yesterday came really close to being successful at then at 10pm, I lost control and ate and ate. Which makes me sad. I REALLY intended yesterday to be spot on. At least my weight is back in the 180's. I intend to be perfect today and then get a morning weight (as apposed to this noon weight today) tomorrow.

190.0 (oreos and 2 tortillas the prior day ~3000 calories) 11:30am

Just for future information -

July 1, 2013 to July, 31st 2013:

average calories: 751

fat grams: 49.5

carb grams: 31.9-9.4 =22.5 net carbs

protein grams: 48.4

weight lost: 228.2 ----> 219.0

9.2 lbs / 30 days =1073 deficit per day ----> 1824 calories used per day @ roughly 225 lbs.

191.2 (High carb, high food, naked, old scale 10:15am)

I was 185.2 four days ago. I have gained 6 pounds in four days. Granted at least 4 pounds of that is carb and food weight, but still, that is quite disappointing. I am back on track now, and will even weigh and record my food in fitday for 3 weeks. I am committing to 700 calorie, recording everything I eat, weighing every day and ketogenic eating through the first of February.

187.4 (5:30am, new scale, naked)

I am out of town on business this morning, but will be headed back late this morning. We bought a new car yesterday and it has been fun to drive it on this trip. It is much more comfortable than our other car (which gets much better mpg's). Yesterday, I ate 3 packs of peanuts, a roma tomato and a large avocado with life. I was hoping to see a lower weight this morning, but have been eating junk the last few days, so am not surprised.

187.2 (noon, naked, home, old scale)

I ate chocolate chip cookies, chocolate chip cookie dough, tortilla chips and salsa yesterday. I am hoping to be back on track today and have a reasonable weigh in tomorrow. I am cooking 4 oz 85/15 ground beef with 8 oz frozen broccoli right now for lunch. I will probably have the same thing (or with cabbage instead) for dinner.

185.4 (11:30am, naked, new scale, in Oregon)

I am pretty happy to start the year at 185.4 lbs. Last year on January 1st I was at 180.4 lbs. I consider the year an amazing success. June 2013 through December 2013 had a major weight loss. To be able to hold onto that weight for a full year is just incredible to me. It has historically been if not easy, at least possible to lose weight. Maintaining the weight loss is a whole other monkey. I had hoped in early December to be back under 183, but I am still really, really pleased to be at 185. I have spent the majority of 2014 around 193-196, so being at 185.4 is quite a nice end to the year. In 2015 I would like to lose another 10-20 pounds and then maintain it for the rest of my life. I KNOW how I have to eat to maintain my weight. I have not recorded food consumption for much of 2014. I consider that a huge cause of my inability to lose my remaining weight and my repeated gains into the upper 190's. HOWEVER, I have been grateful to learn that it is basically possible to maintain my weight loss by eating low carb foods in reasonable portions and not weighing and measuring each and every bite consumed. I will be flying home tomorrow, whereupon I plan to weigh and measure my food EVERY day (that I am not out of town for work) and recording it in Fitday. Weightloss is really slow anymore. I would be happy to lose 1.75 pounds a week now (which would be a 875 calorie deficit per day AND eating HFLC). Basically eating 1000 calories a day will get me a 1.75-2 lb weight loss per week. In a dream world I would get down to 163 and maintain. 22.4 more pounds. It's weird to me that so many New Years Days of my life were imagining a 60,70,80, 120 pound weight loss. To imagine losing ONLY 22.4 pounds just seems ridiculous. Three months of solid Fitday recording, LCHF, 1000 calorie days would land me at 163. (Which is a solid size 12). I AM happy at the weight I am now. I am constantly struggling to be at this weight though. Honestely, I DO recognize that I will spend the rest of my life struggling to stay sub 200 lbs. That is my hand and I will always have the fight against gaining weight back.