Day 1 - Made it. :)

I just finished my tilapia and am having a cup of licorice herbal tea. I made it. :) I started thinking about different things (meaning other than fish) I wanted for dinner and realized it meant I needed to eat the fish NOW if I wanted to stay on track. I will have to remember that tomorrow. It's easy for me to wait to long and then get hungry enough that I make poor choices.

I don't have any big plans for tomorrow other than making some cream cheese jalepino poppers (just baked jalepinos with cream cheese inside). I am going to make them for breakfast (for my high fat meal). They are freeking delicious. I might even make them tonight and them just put them in the refrigerator overnight, so they are ready to go. Other than that, I will probably have chicken and cauliflower... not sure what else. Maybe some liver? I should go to the store and pick up some lean beef steak.

Feeling really pleased with myself. I need to remember how good it is to feel hope about this situation that has plagued me most of my life.

It's been a long time! 251.0

Wow. I haven't posted on here in forever. I am going to try to regularly post and see if I can't see some trends. Since I last posted in July of 2011, I saw a high of 261 something (naked a.m. weight). At the start of 2012 I started working diligently on it and over the course of 5ish weeks got down to 247ish and then I've hung around 250-252ish (with carb bloat weight) since then (the last 5 weeks). I am ready to get very strict again.

I am going to do 800 calories per day. Shoot for 80-110 grams protein, under 20-25 grams carbs and the rest in fat. I am going to try to make sure one of the meals has most of the fat, so my gall bladder will definately have enough fat to make it flush out EACH day. (Since I have had gall bladder issues in the past and they are exacerbated by low calorie diets). Theoretically, if I am able to maintain this sort of eating, I should be able to get under 200 by the 4th of July. That is a size 16. Doable and I would feel a lot better physically. I am going to be really strict and plan to try to be paleo/primalish (not atkinsy - meaning low/no dairy, no artificial sweeteners). I am drinking diet mountain dew today and will lay off of it when this bottle is done. (The first day is the roughest for me).

I am curious to try the 30 day primal challenge and see if it would be something I can stick with long term. I still haven't found the answer. I liked how I felt when I was Zero Carbing, but I have been unable to stick with it (I have tried MANY times in the 20 months).

Today I had:

1pm: 3 egg/ 1 1/2 strip bacon with salsa egg scramble

5:30pm: 3.7oz lean pork loin and 13.2oz english cucumber

later on I plan on having 6oz tilapia.

I feel good right now, but know I am going to struggle later on tonight. I've GOT to get some of this weight off though. I feel 20 years older than I should. :(

253.0

Still no blood strips, but ate correctly yesterday

252.6

I fell off plan last night... which ended up being good, as it allowed me to get 1 hour and 2 hour numbers.

I ate 5 oreo cookies with 1 packet of top ramen, 2 eggs, & about 1.5 cups of pea/carrot mixture made with butter.

blood sugar after 1 hour - 211 !
blood sugar after 2 hours - 156

I am worse that I thought, and I think that is good to know for accepting what my situation is and dealing with it.

Most important - stay on plan & lose some weight (insulin resistance will increase with weight loss).

I am going to order some glucophage and some HCG. I've got to do it. This isn't a way to live. I don't want to burn out my pancrease. I certainly don't want the monthly expense that would come with actually using insulin.

251.4

Fasting blood glucose this morning - 120.

Weight is steadily coming down, but the blood sugar isn't. :(

252.4

Fasting blood glucose this morning 115.

Yesterdays numbers were 253.0, 130, 103, 108 (I took the blood glucose 3X because the first one was so high).

Today marks the start of day 4. I am not doing ZC. I am doing Dr. Bernstein's 6/12/12... which gives me minimal room for a few non-starchy veg. I went to the grocery yesterday and got some stuff to tide me over while DH is out of town in the coming week.

254.8

Fasting Blood Glucose this morning 121.

Bratwurst (3 carb each) and liverwurst yesterday. I felt horrible in the evening with heartburn and a very bad headache. I didn't eat much as a result. Everything I thought I could eat (eggs/liverwurst/canned fishes) I thought would make the heartburn worse. I ended up taking a Zegerid and 2 Tylenol PM.

Mild headache this morning. I am dissappointed to see how high my fasting blood glucose level is even after a day of no carbs. I think I might track if for a while to see how long it takes to come down. I imagine when it comes down, I will feel a lot better on ZC.

256.8

Morning fasting blood glucose - 126.

I'm on. It's about my health now.

257.8

Fasting Blood Glucose this morning 113.

2 Hour Post Meal Blood Glucose this evening 161.

It's time to get serious.

258.2

Wow... so I've spent the last year going on and off of zero carb. And I've managed to gain 14 lbs over the course of the year. I guess there really never can be a break. If I am going to do it, I am going to have to wrap my head around the fact that I am going to have to do it 100% of the time, no breaks, no cheats. Can I do it?

For the last week I have been absolutely fixated on what I get to eat next. I have ended each day with either a headache or a migraine. My joints hurt (not as bad as sometimes). My feet have felt really "flat". If I had stuck with it last July 1st when I started I would be around 160-170 now. Wow. I would feel really different today if that were the case. I guess I am starting again RIGHT NOW. No breaks, no cheats, no salads, no aspertame. I am ready to feel better about me and the body I am in.

257.8

If I fall off, all the weight comes back and quickly. *sigh*

253.8

Trying to get it back togetehr.

252.4

Went to mom and dad's had lunch there and mcdonalds on the way back. I am ready to be back on track.

249.0

So yesterday went out to lunch and had mexican and took home leftovers. Ate leftovers around 6pm. Then later at 1/3 of a large cookie dough blizzard and 1 5/8 meatloaf sandwiches.

I feel really good about it though. After reading about leptin, I know that I have just restored all of my leptin levels and I am ready to battle another week or two before taking anymore of a break. Because 249.0 is my new carbed up weight, it definately shows I am making headway... so I feel really good about how this is going so far.

246.2

We went to the Mexican restuarant for lunch. Brought home leftovers. I plan to not eat for the rest of the day. It's going well so far. I'm 16 days in, with reasonable breaks. 80/20 is a more reasonable plan. :)

246.8

247.0 yesterday morning. In the afternoon I had one ZC meal. A DQ cheeseburger (small) a side of onion rings and 3/4 of a large cookie dough blizzard... No dinner. I had had a very small breakfast (little bit of steak and a boiled egg).

Still on track. :)!

247.2

Ate very little yesterday, but wanted a DQ Blizzard badly. Did not give in. I have been drinking one diet soda in the evenings for the last 3 days. I don't know if it is making it harder or not.

247.2

This is the start of day 12. I am still having quite a bit of cravings in the evening... but have managed to stay strong. Each day feels a little more like this is something I can do.

248.2

247.8

I am starting to really fell better in my skin already. Weird what 10 lbs can do. :)

249.4

I had the worst ZC cravings day yesterday so far. I almost caved in... but made it. whew! so glad I made it. That was crazy hard. Not sure what triggered it. TOM?

250.4

It's still working! :)

Each day is getting a little easier and "normal" to ZC.

251.6

Today is the start of day 6 I think. It's getting easier. We have been working like crazy people and it has helped keep me distracted. I am starting to feel better.

252.6

Four days down. This is the start of day 5. :) Got to be on my toes... it's easy to make mistakes at this point in the game. Busy day ahead.

254.0 This mornign

Day 3 of ZC is almost over. Ate Liverwurst, pepperoni and am now going to have some chuck. Feeling better already. :)

255.6

I managed to stay on track yesterday. Today is the start of Day 2 ZC. :)

256.2

Start of ZC. Went and purchased pork steaks and chuck roast and eggs last night. I am going to try this without dairy and see if it helps. I have Gary Taubes new book "Why we get Fat and what to do about it", from the library yesterday and am going over Good Calories, Bad Calories again. I want to physically feel better.

I am broiling some pork steaks right now. I hope I have the strength to make this work.

259.2

See above. UGH

257.8

We are going through a big business life change right now, so life is pretty stressful.

I had eggs for breakfast (4). I feel physically horrible all the time right now.

256.4

Big news today for our business. Didn't sleep well. Will know in about an hour. Waiting on pins and needles.