193.6 (9:15am)

So I ate 100% low carb (+ about 10 thin restaurant tortilla chips last night) yesterday, but ended up at around 2000 calories (I didn't perfectly weigh everything, but did keep track). I am pleasantly surprised to see I am at 193.6 lbs this morning, as that is my low carb, normal prior day of eating weight. I have 13 more days before my goal date, so could potentially lose 4.6 lbs in that time... which would put me at 189.0. That would be very good.

I spend a lot of time on this blog writing only a quick snip of my weight and how I feel about that. This journey has been long and I am sure, my attempts to be a lower weight will continue for the rest of my life. What seems to be working for me may not be the answer for others. But it does appear that when I stick to a no grain, no sugar, low starch diet, I can now manage (with effort) to keep my weight sub 200 lbs. For people who haven't struggled with their weight, that doesn't seem like much of an accomplishment. As someone who topped out at 261 (naked morning weight) and thought I was destined for a muumuu, it's a miracle to be pretty much a normal american chubby 39 year old (versus a visually obese woman). I fit in now. I don't feel tremendous shame at family (mine or DH's) get togethers. I don't feel like people are talking about me specifically when then mention a fat person or something about weight. Taking off these 67.6 lbs (as of today) has really changed my life for the better. It is worth every sacrifice of eating "normally". It is worth all the weighing of food and falling off track and getting back on track and struggling with myself every day. I hope to get further down the scale (at least 20 more pounds, but I would LOVE to take off 50 more lbs)... but today, I am just taking a moment to be grateful for how far I have come and to appreciate how much it has changed my life to lose 25.8% of my body weight. Losing another 25.8% from where I am today (193.6) would put me right at 143.6. So, I still do have a big battle in front of me, to not only lose more, but maintain what I have lost. I am not sure it is even possible for me. BUT, if you would have asked 261.2 lb past me if it were possible to get back below 200 lbs, I wouldn't have thought it was possible either. Now it is my new normal. I have been sub 200 for about the last year. It feels GREAT and NORMAL now. I think I am mentally ready to lose more.