197.4 (10am)

197.4 this morning after eating off-plan for the last 4 days?... I don't know, it's been so long since I have been consistently ON PLAN that I kinda have trouble remembering. I DO know none of the jeans that I was wearing last winter (so comfortably that I could sleep in them - and often did), fit anymore. They all can get on and buttoned, but it is torture to wear them. That sucks. I have been wearing a lot of yoga pants. That is a path of danger, and I know it. I have been having trouble caring unfortunately. I WANT to care, I just don't. I have something coming up in 15 days though, so I will be reining it in and being 100% on track through that time. My clothes will need to fit. I will be going out of town again for about 3 1/2 weeks. If I could manage to keep myself together for that whole duration (until the day before Thanksgiving), I could conceivably get down to 180. (About 4 pounds of this weight is food and water weight). I don't FEEL like doing that. But I guess I am going to. I am having my coffee with sucralose and 50 grams of heavy cream right now. It has been some time since I was consistently making coffee each morning. (How I correctly start out my day). All I know is that I am going to make today and good day and get back under 195 lbs asap. DH got a promotion at work last Friday, so the last few days have been celebratory. But that isn't a reason to disregard my health.