252.6

I fell off plan last night... which ended up being good, as it allowed me to get 1 hour and 2 hour numbers.

I ate 5 oreo cookies with 1 packet of top ramen, 2 eggs, & about 1.5 cups of pea/carrot mixture made with butter.

blood sugar after 1 hour - 211 !
blood sugar after 2 hours - 156

I am worse that I thought, and I think that is good to know for accepting what my situation is and dealing with it.

Most important - stay on plan & lose some weight (insulin resistance will increase with weight loss).

I am going to order some glucophage and some HCG. I've got to do it. This isn't a way to live. I don't want to burn out my pancrease. I certainly don't want the monthly expense that would come with actually using insulin.

251.4

Fasting blood glucose this morning - 120.

Weight is steadily coming down, but the blood sugar isn't. :(

252.4

Fasting blood glucose this morning 115.

Yesterdays numbers were 253.0, 130, 103, 108 (I took the blood glucose 3X because the first one was so high).

Today marks the start of day 4. I am not doing ZC. I am doing Dr. Bernstein's 6/12/12... which gives me minimal room for a few non-starchy veg. I went to the grocery yesterday and got some stuff to tide me over while DH is out of town in the coming week.

254.8

Fasting Blood Glucose this morning 121.

Bratwurst (3 carb each) and liverwurst yesterday. I felt horrible in the evening with heartburn and a very bad headache. I didn't eat much as a result. Everything I thought I could eat (eggs/liverwurst/canned fishes) I thought would make the heartburn worse. I ended up taking a Zegerid and 2 Tylenol PM.

Mild headache this morning. I am dissappointed to see how high my fasting blood glucose level is even after a day of no carbs. I think I might track if for a while to see how long it takes to come down. I imagine when it comes down, I will feel a lot better on ZC.

256.8

Morning fasting blood glucose - 126.

I'm on. It's about my health now.

257.8

Fasting Blood Glucose this morning 113.

2 Hour Post Meal Blood Glucose this evening 161.

It's time to get serious.

258.2

Wow... so I've spent the last year going on and off of zero carb. And I've managed to gain 14 lbs over the course of the year. I guess there really never can be a break. If I am going to do it, I am going to have to wrap my head around the fact that I am going to have to do it 100% of the time, no breaks, no cheats. Can I do it?

For the last week I have been absolutely fixated on what I get to eat next. I have ended each day with either a headache or a migraine. My joints hurt (not as bad as sometimes). My feet have felt really "flat". If I had stuck with it last July 1st when I started I would be around 160-170 now. Wow. I would feel really different today if that were the case. I guess I am starting again RIGHT NOW. No breaks, no cheats, no salads, no aspertame. I am ready to feel better about me and the body I am in.

257.8

If I fall off, all the weight comes back and quickly. *sigh*

253.8

Trying to get it back togetehr.

252.4

Went to mom and dad's had lunch there and mcdonalds on the way back. I am ready to be back on track.

249.0

So yesterday went out to lunch and had mexican and took home leftovers. Ate leftovers around 6pm. Then later at 1/3 of a large cookie dough blizzard and 1 5/8 meatloaf sandwiches.

I feel really good about it though. After reading about leptin, I know that I have just restored all of my leptin levels and I am ready to battle another week or two before taking anymore of a break. Because 249.0 is my new carbed up weight, it definately shows I am making headway... so I feel really good about how this is going so far.

246.2

We went to the Mexican restuarant for lunch. Brought home leftovers. I plan to not eat for the rest of the day. It's going well so far. I'm 16 days in, with reasonable breaks. 80/20 is a more reasonable plan. :)

246.8

247.0 yesterday morning. In the afternoon I had one ZC meal. A DQ cheeseburger (small) a side of onion rings and 3/4 of a large cookie dough blizzard... No dinner. I had had a very small breakfast (little bit of steak and a boiled egg).

Still on track. :)!

247.2

Ate very little yesterday, but wanted a DQ Blizzard badly. Did not give in. I have been drinking one diet soda in the evenings for the last 3 days. I don't know if it is making it harder or not.

247.2

This is the start of day 12. I am still having quite a bit of cravings in the evening... but have managed to stay strong. Each day feels a little more like this is something I can do.

248.2

247.8

I am starting to really fell better in my skin already. Weird what 10 lbs can do. :)

249.4

I had the worst ZC cravings day yesterday so far. I almost caved in... but made it. whew! so glad I made it. That was crazy hard. Not sure what triggered it. TOM?

250.4

It's still working! :)

Each day is getting a little easier and "normal" to ZC.

251.6

Today is the start of day 6 I think. It's getting easier. We have been working like crazy people and it has helped keep me distracted. I am starting to feel better.

252.6

Four days down. This is the start of day 5. :) Got to be on my toes... it's easy to make mistakes at this point in the game. Busy day ahead.

254.0 This mornign

Day 3 of ZC is almost over. Ate Liverwurst, pepperoni and am now going to have some chuck. Feeling better already. :)

255.6

I managed to stay on track yesterday. Today is the start of Day 2 ZC. :)

256.2

Start of ZC. Went and purchased pork steaks and chuck roast and eggs last night. I am going to try this without dairy and see if it helps. I have Gary Taubes new book "Why we get Fat and what to do about it", from the library yesterday and am going over Good Calories, Bad Calories again. I want to physically feel better.

I am broiling some pork steaks right now. I hope I have the strength to make this work.

259.2

See above. UGH

257.8

We are going through a big business life change right now, so life is pretty stressful.

I had eggs for breakfast (4). I feel physically horrible all the time right now.

256.4

Big news today for our business. Didn't sleep well. Will know in about an hour. Waiting on pins and needles.

255.2

Last 2 days have been a fail, but my weight is somewhat down. I am trying.

258.0 Zero Carb Day 1

This is the highest weight i have ever seen. I have been over 250 for about 2 months now. I obviously can't eat regular food anymore. My insulin response has gotten steadily worse. I feel horrible physically all the time. I am making a commitment today, May 1st, 2011. Right now. I CAN'T ever go back to what I have been doing. I am going to stick to straight meat, heavy cream and water. Maybe if I am really strict it will get easier faster this time. I am committing to daily logging my thoughts here as well as daily weigh-ins. Weigh-in this morning was at 7:45.

Joints consistently hurt and knees are cracking.
Steadily have been gaining weight since my low of 219 last time ZC (40 lbs in 8.5 months!)
Daily self recriminations.
No hope for being able to do physical things in the future unless I CHANGE what I am doing.

Mini fail last night, but I am right back on track

Last night for some reason I gave into temptation and had
3 haystack cookies
1 piece of apple pie
about 12 chicken nuggets
5 beef ravioli
& about 15 tortilla chips

But here is what I realize. I fail at dieting not when I eat things that are off plan. I fail at dieting when I don't immediately get back on plan. I need to remember that I AM going to occasionally eat things that aren't on plan. What is more important than that though is to get back to it and recover the next day.

Weight: 239.2
Appearance: Dressed with hair and makeup - check

It's been a productive morning and I am making coffee right now to have with heavy cream. I am 100% on track today. :)